Founded in 1987 by Terry Brussel and Brian Gitt
Based on the philosophy of Family Synergy
Founded 1971 by Hy Levy and Pat LaFollette
Inside This Issue
Saturday January 21 11 am to 3:30 pm
Free State Project: Building Gault's Gulch One Step At A Time
Saturday January 21 3:30 pm
FIRST MEETING OF LTD'S NEW STEERING COMMITTEE
Saturday February 18 11 am to 4 pm
Poly and Pagan
Saturday March 17 11am to 4 pm
To BURN or not to Burn: What is the Burning Man Festival and why should Poly's Care?
CONSIDER GROUP LIVING
Space Available a lovely group house West San Fernando Valley
818-886-0069
Live the Dream JANUARY 2012 to MARCH 2012
Unless otherwise noted, all events are at 8515 Penfield Ave Winnetka 91306. Group house- home of Terry, Greg, Will and Lawrence. For all events: RSVP/more info call the LTD Hotline (818) 886-0069, ex. 3.
Live the Dream is an education and support group for those who, originally inspired by the writings of Robert Heinlein, Robert Rimmer and Marion Zimmer Bradley, are now ready to LIVE such alternative lifestyles as cooperative living, open relationships and group marriage. Many of our concepts on multiply committed relationships come from Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land and Moon is a Harsh Mistress. Live the Dream also sponsors a Nest of Church of All Worlds, the real life, over fifty year old spiritual movement inspired by Stranger in a Strange Land.
Please visit the Live the Dream website www.livethedream.org to view current events, past articles, etc.
Family Synergy members pay member price at Live the Dream meetings & parties
for info on family synergy events see: www.familysynergy.org
Note: Terry Brussel is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and a a 4th generation matchmaker. We provide poly relationship counseling, hypnotic jealousy release and other services. See www.acesuccess.com or call (800) LIFE MATES (543-3628)
EVENTS
Saturday January 21st 11 am to 3:30pm Free State Project: Building Gault's Gulch One Step At A Time lead by Paul Gibbons
What will relationships and marriage look like in a Free State? How will taxes, the Free Market, and other issues affecting an expanded family's finances be handled? This and other fascinating subjects will be discussed as we look at New Hampshire (real world, the present) where a group of libertarian types are inviting other freedom lovers to create new solutions for liberty in our life time. What they are doing is starting to work as more and more move there and some run for state office. Thirteen Free Stater's are now in the New Hampshire State legislature! Paul, who has been visiting and attending conventions there, will bring us news of what is actually happening as well as discussing how this relates to ideas found in such fictional works as Atlas Shrugged and Moon Is a Harsh Mistress.
Pot luck lunch at 1 pm Bring something healthy and delicious to share.
Hot tubbing and socializing in the afternoon
Saturday January 21st 3:30pm LTD'S NEW STEERING COMMITTEE
COME WITH YOUR IDEAS AND HAVE A VOICE IN WHAT WE DO NEXT!
Live the Dream was founded 1987 as a spinoff of Family Synergy. We provide education, support and social interaction with like minded others for those who believe that it is possible to love and be committed to more than one significant other. We started out with a steering committee who shared decision making responsibilities for creating a newsletter, keeping track of the data base, presenting monthly meetings and special events, etc. As some of those people moved away or moved on, I took on more and more of the responsibilities. What I could not do or didn't have time for, I had my office staff do. Harold Goldstein has continued helping put our newsletter together - Thank you Harold! I am willing to keep doing much of what I have been doing, but I believe it would be better for this group's ongoing success if others got involved. It's time to have your say in getting the kind of activities you would most enjoy - whether you want to lead/host them or not.
At about 4:30 pm, those who are interested can join us for watching Atlas Shrugged Part 1 together on our big screen tv. Part 2 will be coming out in 2012.
Saturday February 18th 11 am to 4 pm Poly and Pagan lead by Leana Hauselman and Terry Brussel.
Leana is active in CUPPS - pagan Unitarians. Its founder, Tim, was an original member of Live the Dream's steering committee. LTD is a nest of Church of All Worlds based on Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land. Polyamory is far more common among pagans than it is in the population at large, though certainly not universal in the Pagan community. The word Polyamory was coined by Morning Glory Zell whose husband Oberon founded CAW. See Bouquet of Lovers below. What are the spiritual aspects of polyamory and how are they compatible with neo-Paganism? "All Acts of Love and Pleasure are My Rituals sayeth the Goddess..."
Pot luck lunch - bring finger foods for a Tribal Feast. Followers of Pan of the male persuasion shall be privileged to feed Goddesses attending this event and provide them with other delights such as massage.
Clothing optional Hot tubbing and socializing follow.
Saturday March 17th 11am To BURN or not to Burn: What is the Burning Man Festival & Why should Poly's care?
Learn what the Burning Man is all about and why should you, as a Poly person care about it. What does it mean & how does it affect the rest of the World. More details next month.
CONSIDER GROUP LIVING
Are YOU Ready for Group Living ?
Space Available a lovely group house West San Fernando Valley
Many people together can live cheaper and a whole lot nicer than that same number could live separately. Over the years at our Live The Dream gatherings we've done an exercise in which we have everyone write down what they could afford to pay down for a home, what they could pay monthly, where they want to live, what kind of people they want to live with, etc. Invariably, we discover that living together costs less and is quite affordable for most people.
Our home is a beautiful one in a nice neighborhood of the west San Fernando Valley. It has two fireplaces, a high ceilinged grand living room, dining area and big country kitchen. Washer and dryer available. We have a clothing optional hot tub which usually has good company available and music of your choice playing in it. We share good conversation, holidays, outings, special occasions, hugs... and household chores.
Imagine coming home to a spacious house, a well kept yard filled with flowers and shade trees. The fire place may be lit if it is winter. You come home to the smell of something delicious being cooked by one of your housemates. Or perhaps you are the housemate doing that cooking - that nurturing.
You share a good dinner with whoever is at home tonight. Afterward, you might enjoy the massage chair, go to the privacy of your room, soak in the hot tub with good friends, join a lively discussion in the living room or cuddle by the fire. Sound good?
Make your fantasy a reality...
Private ROOM with FULL BATH AVAILABLE IN GROUP HOUSE
WEST San Fernando VALLEY - CALIFORNIA
If you have an interest in living in a lovely home with warm, caring, like minded people,
call (818) 886-0069 ext 3 for more information.
RENT: $715 a month + utilities and $65 a week for food and sundries.
MAY BE REDUCED BY $275 FOR COOKING, CLEANING and SHOPPING CHORES BEYOND WHAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED YOUR FAIR SHARE IN A GROUP HOUSE.
If you are really up to it physically, I'm also paying a maid $105 a week for 7 hours a week of mopping, vacuuming, scrubbing the kitchen and doing quite a bit of laundry. I am not suggesting taking that on unless you really like that sort of thing...
Three cats in residence.
NO SMOKING/ NO DRUGS ABSOLUTELY
Church of All Worlds/ Live the Dream
By Terry Brussel January 2012
Back in 1968, I was part of a Stranger in a Strange Land type Nest formed by about ten science fiction fans who went to high school together. Many of the original group scattered to the four winds, but my first water brother is still my best friend and we've drawn many others to us over the years - twenty-five at last count. Some of these are our lovers as well. Stranger in a Strange Land has been my interpersonal relationships Bible all this time and has served me well. I have used it (with some help from such other Heinlein books as Moon is a Harsh Mistress and Time Enough for Love) as a touch stone for educating people about alternative lifestyles such as multiply committed relationships, group marriage, and families -by-choice. Family Synergy, which my first husband and I joined in 1977, was my first forum for such discussions as an adult. This organization was founded in 1971 by Hyim Levy and Pat LaFollette. It was based largely on the writings of Robert Rimmer (Harrad Experiment, Proposition Thirty-One), though some of its members were more science fiction oriented. Family Synergy was truly my family by choice during those years - we shared Passover Seders (Hy lead the first really traditional one I had ever been to at the Allot House in 1977), Latke Parties, birthday celebrations and trips to Elysium.
In 1987, Brian Gitt, Darrell Smith ( two of my water brothers then in a triad with me) and myself formed Live the Dream-- many of whose members were in science fiction fandom and whose philosophy was based on writings by Heinlein and others of the SF genre. Robert Rimmer was an honorary member and an inspiration to me personally-- always willing to talk with me about how to live this life style more joyously until he passed on a few years ago.
In 1988, I heard about Church of All Worlds. I discovered to my delight and amazement that it was based on the one in Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land. See excerpts below.
The organizers of CAW and I had been walking similar paths separately for 20+ years. CAW was the first neo pagan religion to be legally recognized in the United States. It now has Nests (of Water Brothers) in many other countries as well. As I made my pilgrimage to meet with Otter (now Oberon) and Morning Glory soon after that, I arranged to visit Otter and Morning Glory at their home near the Russian River in northern California. As we drove up there a filk song played: "We were traveling north to see some friends we'd never met...there were unicorns..." It seemed unbelievably appropriate, though I didn't know at the time I'd soon meet a real unicorn. I found out later the song had been written for the folks I was about to visit. It's been special to me ever since.
Naturally, I became a member of Church of All Worlds (CAW). The magazine they put out, The Green Egg is fascinating and frequently contains lifestyles related material. Though LTD has more emphasis on alternative lifestyles than paganism, appropriate ritual is woven into many of our holiday events. I became a Scion (4th Circle initiate) in CAW as of 4-25-98. The initiation was done just weeks after my husband Paul and I shared an adult Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Conflict? There are many rooms in the mansion of the Lord and the Lady...
Pagan sexuality is more open than Jewish, Christian or even Unitarian sexual practices. Sex in or out of marriage is more than permitted, it is sacred. On certain holidays it may even be required of certain participants such as May King(s) and Queen(s). Sexual magick may be performed for the accomplishment of specific desires and intents (including non- sexual ones). The Goddess sayeth "All acts of love and pleasure are my Ritual..." When I read that in the Green Egg, I felt a joining of spirituality with my choice of lifestyle which has been a blessing in my life.
The founder's wife, Morning Glory Zell, actually coined the term Polyamory in her Bouquet of Lovers article. Morning Glory and Oberon (AKA Otter, AKA Tim) Zell spent many years in a line marriage (multi generational group marriage based on Heinlein's Moon is a Harsh Mistress) containing up to eight people at one time.
Polyamory is the philosophy that it is possible to deeply love and be committed to more than one significant other. Some of those who call ourselves Polyamorous express this by having a primary partner that we may be legally married to and lovers with whom we may share anything from a romantic evening each month to family activities and nights over several times a week.
Others are actually in group marriages, some of which have been together for decades. Group marriages, intimate networks, co-ops and communes, are among the many somewhat unorthodox ways we live together
Some of the larger ones fit in the category of Intentional Communities. These may or may not be either sexually open or poly oriented.
I have been involved in such lifestyles since my teens - 2 open marriages, a semi residential triad which founded LTD, a triad (5 yrs), a quadrad and now an open committed relationship with my handfasted (2-5-11) partner. Today we live in a large group house which includes another of our water brothers, a member of our expanded family and (with the passing of a water brother who had been with me as a household member for sixteen years) a room available for a new potential family member. The house has two fire places, an out door jacuzzi with room enough for eight (though it has held as many as 14 at a party) and an in - door one in our master suite. We always have company when we want it and private space when that is needed. All of us are avid SF readers and Pagan (though I am also a practicing Jew and my partner is Hindu).
It is possible to Live The Dream, whatever Dream you cherish, and make it Real.
Stranger in a Strange Land features a human child raised by Martians returning as a young man to earth. We get a fresh look at our American sexual customs from the point of view of someone not raised to consider them self evident.
These are some excerpts from Stranger in a Strange Land:
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy. In fact, they're almost in compatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other. Both at once can produce an unbearable turmoil.
Sex should be a means of happiness. The worst thing about the way most of our society handles sex is that we use it to hurt each other. It ought never to hurt; it should bring happiness, or at least, pleasure. The code says, "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife." The result? Reluctant chastity, adultery, jealousy, bitterness, blows and sometimes murder, broken homes and twisted children-and furtive little passes degrading to woman and man. Is this commandment ever obeyed? If a man swore on his own Bible that he refrained from coveting his neighbor's wife because the code forbade it, I would suspect either self-deception or subnormal sexuality. Any male virile enough to sire a child has coveted many women, whether he acts or not.
There is no need to covet my wife ... love her! There's no limit to her love, we have everything to gain - and nothing to lose but fear and guilt and hatred and jealousy. I still don't grok jealousy in fullness, it seems insanity to me. When I first learned what this ecstasy was, my first thought was that I wanted to share it, share it at once with all my water brothers-directly with those female, indirectly by inviting more sharing with those male. The notion of trying to keep this never failing fountain to myself would have horrified me, had I thought of it. But I was incapable of thinking it. And in perfect corollary I had no slightest wish to attempt this miracle with anyone I did not already cherish and trust.
Our Brothers get along together. They live in peace and happiness with no bitterness, no jealousy. Male-femaleness is the greatest gift we have. Romantic physical love may be unique to this planet. If it is, the universe is a poorer place than it could be ... And I grok dimly that we-who-are-God will save this precious invention and spread it.
The joining of bodies with merging of souls in shared ecstasy, giving, receiving, delighting in each other is the source of all that makes this planet so rich and wonderful. Until a person, man or woman, has enjoyed this treasure bathed in the mutual bliss of minds linked as closely as bodies, that person is still virginal and alone as if he had never had sex.
My own definition of Water Brothers-as I have lived it since 1968:
May you never thirst, never hunger is one acknowledgment commonly used among members of the real Church of All Worlds which is based on the one in Heinlein's novel. In Stranger, this is a binding promise to see to it personally that one's Brothers (read sisters as well) shall never hunger, be thirsty, nor lack for shelter. Among most who offer these words in ritual, they are far less binding. In most rituals, the sharing of water is simply the recognition that we are all brothers and sisters in the earth, Gaia. Being a bit more traditional, I personally will not use water for such a ritual unless I do mean the words literally. I replace it with juice. I may even verbally state that the sharing we are doing is not a sharing in fullness. In my own inner Nest, the sharing of Water has meanings varying from person to person by their choice. There are those who have chosen to accept my water brothers as their own and those who have chosen to share only with me and to share separately, or not, with each of my other water brothers. Others have decided to change to this meaning after the original sharing. Some have even chosen to break the bond of water brotherhood--which they can do, on their side, without anyone discorporating as a result. In essence, we are none of us Martians nor characters in a science fiction story. Each of us does the best we can to be true to ourselves and those we care for.
If you have a poly experience or question to share
for publication here please send or E-Mail it to 8515 Penfield Ave. Winnetka, Ca. 91306.
E-Mail us at livethedream.org. We will take it with your solution or brain storm and give it one or more of our own. Let's have fun with this and learn from each other.
Meet Up & other group Events
First Saturday every month - 7 PM Deborah's Poly Meet up in Burbank/ North Hollywood
Go to www.meetup.com/SoCal-Polyamory or call 310-717-5790 for more info
Shama, who gave the excellent presentation on Tantra for LTD's March 2011 meeting, is having poly meet ups monthly. Go to www.pleasureparadigm.org for more info
Leanna Wolf has all sorts of things going on several times a month at her home in Van Nuys, Ca. - some for poly people and some for monogamous folks as well.
See http://drleannawolfe.com
Other Poly meet up info: www.lovemore.com
Do you have poly news that you wish to share?
E-Mail us at livethedream.org or call us at (818) 886-0069, ex. 3
Tell your Poly curious friends to look us up at livethedream.org
DIRECTIONS TO THE PENFIELD HOUSE
From the 118 going east, get off at De Soto Avenue, head South on De Soto to Parthenia, head East on Parthenia, head South on Winnetka, head East on Chase one block and head North on Penfield to 8515.
From the 118 going west, get off at Tampa Avenue, head South on Tampa to Parthenia, head West on Parthenia, head South on Winnetka, head East on Chase (one block), head North on Penfield.
From the 101, get off at Winnetka Avenue, head North on Winnetka Avenue to Chase (next signal North of Roscoe). Head East on Chase Street one block turn left on Penfield Avenue.
We are the big white house on the left hand side of the street; first house on Penfield north of Chase Street. Number 8515
For Google instructions, go to: http://maps.google.com/maps?q=8515+Penfield+Ave,+Winnetka,+CA+91306,+USA&sa=X&oi=map&ct=ti
LTD DUES ARE $25.00 PER YEAR FOR ONE PERSON, $40 FOR A COUPLE, $10 EACH FOR ADDITIONAL PERSON(S) IN THE SAME HOUSE. DOUBLE THAT FOR FREE ATTENDANCE AT ALL REGULAR DAY TIME 3RD SATURDAY MEETINGS. TO BECOME A MEMBER OR TO RENEW YOU YOUR MEMBERSHIP, PLEASE COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING FORM AND EITHER E-MAIL OR SNAIL MAIL IT TO THE ADDRESS LISTED BELOW. An E-Mail NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIPTION ONLY IS AVAILABLE FOR FREE. JUST BE SURE TO PROVIDE US WITH YOUR E-Mail ADDRESS. REGULAR MEETINGS ARE $5.00 WITH YOUR CURRENTLY PAID MEMBERSHIP CARD (FAMILY SYNERGY OR LIVE THE DREAM] WITHOUT MEMBERSHIP MEETINGS ARE $8.00.
Saturday November 19 - 11 am to 4 pm
GROUP LIVING: WHY AND HOW?
What do we get out of establishing a multiple adult household? How do we make it happen? What are the choices involved financially and in terms of life style? Such questions as whether you prefer a household with children or not, how finances and chores are to be handled, choosing a location - rural or urban, etc will be on the agenda. We will look at examples from history, science fiction and current reality. We'll talk about how you can find and join or start the household YOU want to live in. There are lots of possibilities out there if you decide this is for you - including a room now available in our own group house here in the west valley. See info below.
Sunday November 28 - 11 am to 1pm Live the Dream Meetpoint in Main Filk Room
We'll be passing out copies to keep of songs about the many ways to have multiple loves from the romantic to the ridiculous. Please bring any poly offerings you have written or found. We'll sing them together or listen to you sing. Poetry on this topic is also welcome. We'll have some informal discussion as well as the singing. Ever thought about what it would be like to be part of Mike's Nest in Stranger in a Strange Land? Ever fantasized about that network of unusual loving relationships in Spider Robinson's Lady Calahan books? What about the expanded family "getting telepathic together" in the original Calahan's Saloon strories? Have you been fascinated by Lazarus Long's group marriage in Time Enough for Love? Warmed by the Line Marriage in Moon is a Harsh Mistress? Dreams can come true!
This get-together is for those already into multiply-committed relationships and those who want to LEARN more about them. People like us do not only exist in SF books! Come meet some kindred spirits.
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SATURDAY 12-17-11 11 am to 4 pm
WHICH SCIENCE FICTION BOOK or SERIES MOST EFFECTED YOUR CHOICE OF LIFE STYLE? Or at least your fantasies. We'll brainstorm on how you could actually LIVE the life style which would most delight you. Pot luck lunch and hot tubbing follow
LTD WINTER HOLIDAY PARTY
6 PM Evening of December 17 is LTD's annual Winter Holiday Party with Hot tubbing and socializing in between the day time meeting and the party.
(Crash space available by arrangement when you RSVP) Latkes (provided by Live the Dream, along with Apple Sauce and Sour Cream), songs about the Maccabees, dreidels, lighted up Christmas miniature houses, and a Winter Solstice ritual. We'll light the Hanukkah Menorah - a bit early. Did we forget a ritual important to you? Tell us and we'll add it!
Bring stories/songs/poetry to share
Your favorite holiday dish for pot luck supper - (big enough for 10 to share.),
Wrapped science fiction, fantasy or magikal gift ($5-$10) for GIFT EXCHANGE.
Children welcome 6-9 pm ONLY. Children bring child gifts to exchange with each other.
Sharing our holidays is part of what weaves the bonds of Family in a group like ours. Understanding what is important to each of us during this festive season and how we celebrate it is a way to grow closer and delight in our diversity.
Clothing optional Jacuzzi (with holiday music playing inside it!) available all evening - bring sandals and towels. Cost $5 for paid members (Family Synergy or Live the Dream), $8 for non members -
Meeting and Party both $8 for members, $12 for non members.
RENEW YOUR LTD ANNUAL MEMBERSHIP OR JOIN LTD TODAY AND GET MEETING AND PARTY FREE!
CONSIDER GROUP LIVING
Are YOU Ready for Group Living ?
Space Available a lovely group house West San Fernando Valley
Many people together can live cheaper and a whole lot nicer than that same number could live separately. Over the years at our Live The Dream gatherings we've done an exercise in which we have everyone write down what they could afford to pay down for a home, what they could pay monthly, where they want to live, what kind of people they want to live with, etc. Invariably, we discover that living together costs less and is quite affordable for most people.
WHO LIVES HERE?
I am Terry Brussel: fifty-eight years old, passionate about LIFE, lady hypnotherapist, Judeo Pagan. I've been involved in multiply committed relationships since my late teens. I founded Live the Dream in 1987 as an education and support group for that life style. It was a spin off of Family Synergy which had promoted poly living since 1971 - long before the word was coined. I've been doing hypnotherapy since 1969 (when I was sixteen) and I now help coaches and hypnotists to build successful practices nationwide, in Canada and the UK. I can also do home made chicken soup from scratch, creative salads, fruit omlets and other tasty things.
Our own group house (this one bought 2003) came together from several different sources. Carl Dietz moved in with my second husband and I January 15, 1995. We had met him a few months before at a Whole Life Expo where he and my son politely wrestled over who would carry my stuff to a hypnosis demonstration I was giving. He lived with me until his passing October 2, 2011.
Will "Taliesin" Jarvis attended Live the Dream meetings off and on beginning in 1997. Will is a published author who writes novels on alternative lifestyles and is carrying on for Robert Rimmer, a fellow New Englander, since Bob's passing . He is active in lobbying for freedom of speech and other first amendment issues, issues also dear to my own heart. He had become an intimate friend for several months before he moved in with us. When we did the exercise of writing down what you could put towards rent on a place, where you were willing to live and what kind of people you wanted to live with, etc. at a Live the Dream meeting in June of 2002, I looked at what he wrote and asked if he was seriously available for living in a group house. He was. Will moved in when we bought our current home in 2003. He?s still with us as I write this in October of 2011. He is also Live the Dream's and Success Center's web master.
Lawrence has been with us since 2008. He attended a Live the Dream All Hallow's Eve party in 2006, was a hypnosis client for a while in return for some handyman work which I much appreciated - he does it like a craftsman proud of his work. He has a masters degree in screenwriting and is working on making that a paying profession. Lawrence also moves Energy and does a masterful job of leading rituals.
Our newest housemate, Greg Barnes, is also my life partner. We met through OK Cupid in July of 2008 by phone, talked several times without meeting and he finally showed up at a Live the Dream All Hallow's Eve party 10-30-09. We Shared Water shortly after that. An avid Science Fiction reader for most of his life, Greg gave a talk on Stranger in a Strange Land when I included him on the Live the Dream panel at his first science fiction convention-- Los Con November of 2009. He moved in with us 12-20-09 as my primary partner. A year after we met, we decided to be handfasted . The ceremony was February 5, 2011 in the presence of friends and loved ones including many of our Water Brothers. Greg is a yogi and teacher of yoga (now doing this for some of my hypnosis clients), an accomplished professionally trained cook, a knife maker, Smith, hunter, maker of fine bows and master of many other survival skills. He has done marketing for Success Center?s trade shows and helped put together the scripts, CDs, books etc we provide for clients and professionals nationally and internationally. He is now studying professional hypnosis with me.
Yes, we do have some cottage industry going on here. If you do anything involving human enrichment, we can probably give you clients for it. If you can sell, I'll put you to work for sure and pay you commissions. However, we do want a house mate who can pay his or her rent regardless of such opportunities. This is a cooperative household, not a commune. Everyone pays his share. Food and sundries $65 a week - tell grocery shoppers for that week what you want bought or be a grocery shopper. Several meals are shared ones and the rest is fix your own from what's in the fridge.
Not everyone can live together and not everyone is able to handle group living . Back in 1992, I lived for a few months with a man who had been my lover for many years. Both of us believed in group living and he had plenty of positive experience in being Papa Bear for such households. We even became formally engaged to be married when both of us found ourselves unattached at the same time for the first time in more than twenty years of a romantic and loving secondary relationship. When we discovered we had incompatibilities that made us poor housemates, it would have been easiest to break up in anger and not see each other any more. We considered that, but then decided that what we had before living together was too precious to throw away. We still spend three or four joyous and special weekends a year together, though he is now married to someone else and lives out of state. Each relationship, along with its transitions, has learnings within it. We grow and move forward. This includes learning from, cherishing, and moving on after the loss of a beloved member of my Family-By-Choice.
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Our home is a beautiful one in a nice neighborhood of the west San Fernando Valley. It has two fireplaces, a high ceilinged grand living room, dining area and big country kitchen. Washer and dryer available. We have a clothing optional hot tub which usually has good company available and music of your choice playing in it. We share good conversation, holidays, outings, special occasions, hugs... and household chores.
Imagine coming Home to a spacious, comfortable place, a well kept yard filled with flowers and trees. The fire place may be lit if it is winter. You smell something delicious being cooked by one of your housemates. Or perhaps you are the housemate doing that cooking - that nurturing.
You share a good dinner with whoever is at
home tonight. Afterward, you might enjoy the massage chair, go to the privacy of
your room, soak in the hot tub with good friends, join a lively discussion in
the living room or read (cuddle?) by the fire. If this sounds
good...
Make your fantasy a reality!
Private ROOM with FULL bath AVAILABLE IN GROUP HOUSE
WEST SAN FERNANDO VALLEY - CALIFORNIA
If you have an interest in living in a lovely home with warm, caring, like minded people or know of someone who does, call Terry at (818) 886-0069 ext 3 for more information.
RENT: $800 a month+your share of utilities+ $65 a week for food and sundries.
MAY BE REDUCED BY AS MUCH AS $300 FOR COOKING, CLEANING and SHOPPING CHORES BEYOND WHAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED YOUR FAIR SHARE IN A GROUP HOUSE. That would look like doing the weekly grocery shopping for all four of us yourself, daily dish washing, cooking 3 dinners a week, Sunday breakfast and occasional errands . You would do some of that as household chores anyway, but definitely less.
If you are really up to it physically, I'm also paying a maid $105 a week for 7 hours of mopping, vacuuming, scrubbing the kitchen/baths and doing quite a bit of laundry. I am not suggesting taking that on unless you really like that sort of thing...
Three cats in residence.
NO SMOKING (of anything) ABSOLUTELY
__________
If you have a poly experience or question to share for publication here please send or E-Mail it to 8515 Penfield Ave. Winnetka, CA 91306.
E-Mail us at livethedream.org. We will take it with your solution or brain storm and give it one or more of our own. Let?s have fun with this and learn from each other.
Live the Dream is an education and support group for those who,
originally inspired by the writings of Robert Heinlein, Robert Rimmer and
Marion Zimmer Bradley, are now ready to LIVE such alternative lifestyles
as cooperative living, open relationships and group marriage. Many
of our concepts on multiply committed relationships come from Heinlein's
Stranger in a Strange Land and Moon is a Harsh
Mistress. Live the Dream also sponsors a Nest
of Church of All Worlds, the real life, over fifty year old spiritual
movement inspired by Stranger in a
Strange Land. Live the Dream was founded in 1987 by
Terry Brussel and Brian Gitt, inspired by Family Synergy founded in
1971 by Hy Levy and Pat LaFollette
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Unless otherwise noted, all events are at 8515 Penfield Ave Winnetka 91306. Group house- home of Terry, Greg, Carl, Will and Lawrence. For all events: RSVP/more info call the LTD Hotline (818) 886-0069, ex. 3.
Please visit the Live the Dream website at www.livethedream.org For info on family synergy events see: www.familysynergy.org To see past events or articles on Live the Dream please visit: www.livethedream.org.
Note: Terry Brussel is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and a a 4th generation matchmaker. We provide poly relationship counseling, hypnotic jealousy release and other services. See www.acesuccess.com or call (800) LIFE MATES (543-3628)
PLEASE NOTE: All 3rd Saturday Live the Dream meetings are also Family Synergy connection parties from 11am-2pm Also, Family Synergy members pay member price at Live the Dream meetings & parties
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Inside This Issue
Takes a Village to Raise a Child
Date: Saturday May 21
Time: 11 am to 4pm
Free yourself from the Slavery of Jealousy!
Date: Saturday June 18
Time: 11am to 4pm
Alternative Dating Etiquette
Date: Saturday July 17
Time: 11 am to 4 pm
2011 LTD Annual Camping Trip at Lake Cachuma
Friday August 5
through Sunday August 7
Unless otherwise noted, all events are at 8515 Penfield Ave. in Winnetka zip 91306.
This is a group house - home of Terry, Greg, Carl and Will.
For all events: RSVP / more info call the LTD Hotline (818) 886-0069, ex. 3.
Please visit the Live the Dream website at www.livethedream.org
FOR INFO ON FAMILY SYNERGY EVENTS SEE: WWW.FAMILYSYNERGY.ORG
TO SEE PAST EVENTS OR ARTICLES ON Live the Dream PLEASE VISIT: WWW.LIVETHEDREAM.ORG.
Live the Dream is an education and support group for those who, originally inspired by the writings of Robert Heinlein, Robert Rimmer and Marion Zimmer Bradley, are now ready to LIVE such alternative lifestyles as cooperative living, open relationships and group marriage. Many of our concepts on multiply committed relationships come from Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land and Moon is a Harsh Mistress. Live the Dream also sponsors a Nest of Church of All Worlds, the real life, over fifty year old spiritual movement inspired by Stranger in a Strange Land.
Note: Terry Brussel is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and a a 4th generation matchmaker. We provide poly relationship counseling, hypnotic jealousy release and other services. See www.acesuccess.com or call (800) LIFE MATES (543-3628)
PLEASE NOTE: All 3rd Saturday Live the Dream meetings are also Family Synergy connection parties from 11am-2pm
Also, Family Synergy members pay member price at Live the Dream meetings & parties
EVENTS
May 21 11 am to 4 pm: It Takes a Village to Raise a Child - from Co-ops to Expanded Families in the Poly and Pagan Communities. Lead by Lena and Eric Hauselman.
Many of us got involved with this lifestyle as much for the benefits available to our children as for the delights of connecting with multiple lovers. Children with many parents and chosen family members are never orphaned - emotionally or in terms of roof over their heads. They also have plenty of role models to learn from. Bring your kids-teens and reasoning younger ones are welcome in the discussion. We will go to Lake Balboa for a picnic in the afternoon around 1 pm. Bring your own sandwiches and a delicious side to share. LTD provides beverages, paper plates, etc.
Saturday June 18 11am to 4pm: Free Yourself from the Slavery of Jealousy!
Discussion, exercises, and guided meditation for vanquishing YOUR green eyed monster Terry Brussel PhD, CCht and Rachel Hope lead this exploration of Jealousy vs. Compersion. Shall we let it run our lives or master it for our greater joy? The choice is ours to make in each relationship, each new day in our lives... Bring finger foods for Tribal Feast pot luck lunch. We will be feeding each other. Jacuzzi available for soaking and socializing 2 pm to 4 pm - we'll put a canopy over it for shade. Bring sandals and a towel.
UPCOMING:
Saturday July 17 11 am to 4 pm Alternative Dating Etiquette
To be followed by science fiction folk singing (filk) in the evening.
UPCOMING:
Friday August 5 to Sunday August 7 LTD Annual Camping Trip at Lake Cachuma.
This will be kid friendly as well as fun for adults. Bring your own food for Friday dinner (7 pm) and Saturday breakfast (9 am). Lunch Saturday is pot luck - bring your own sandwiches and drinks plus sides to share - same kind as you are bringing for Saturday dinner.
Saturday dinner LTD provides baked chicken, beverages and paper goods. The rest is pot luck. A-H salad and raw veggies I-N Fruits and cheeses O- S Breads, chips, spreads and dips T-Z Deserts Join us for a boat trip around the Lake Saturday morning marshmallow roast (Saturday night after a walk around Lake Cachuma), and a trip to Solvang for Sunday Brunch. RSVP: 818.886.0069 ext.3
The following articles by Terry Brussel were the basis for 3 workshops presented at
Heinlein's Centennial Celebration in Kansas City in 2006
We in alternative lifestyles used to be referred to in science fiction circles (even among those who were specifically Heinlein fans) as Heinlein's "bastard children".
The designation always hurt and angered me. It implied that the poly philosophy contained
in his books was not meant to be taken seriously, but was "just fiction".
When the first novel he wrote (For Us the Living written 1938 and finally published in 2003) its pro open relationship philosophy made it clear he really did believe in that life style from the start. His biography which came out in 2010 showed he not only believed in, but LIVED our life style for much of his life.
We are bastards no more.
The room was packed for all three of our Alternative Lifestyles
Family workshops at that Centennial!
Chosen Family: How Heinlein's Sci-Fi Stories Have Affected Structures in Real Families
The juveniles in Heinlein's stories mirrored that of the traditional, loving, family unit. In one juvenile, Podkayne of Mars, Heinlein made mention of an arrangement where the children would be grown in a test tube and frozen until Mom and Dad were ready to raise them. Heinlein gave most of the juveniles a family structure similar to those of today, some could say better than most. Line Marriage, Multi Generational Group Marriage of Oberon Zell, and the triads also described in The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress, or Tertius colony Family similar. The water sharing ceremony in Stranger in a Strange Land is the best example of Family by choice and has affected families in reality probably morethan any other of his books. Church of All Worlds and many other less formal groups, including my own intimate friendship network, have used this as a model for permanent committed relationships which may shift from lovers to friendship and back again multiple times during an ongoing relationship. Members of a Nest may live together or be "semi residential". They may live nowhere near each other, but maintain their bonds through phone calls and visits (weekly, monthly, or perhaps a few times a year). The patterns are endless. The common denominator is long term lovingcommitment.
Think about: Which of Heinlein's writings affected the choices you have made regarding family andrelationship structure?
Families in Heinlein
In Rolling Stone, Heinlein gives us a trade family with Grandma Hazel helping with the children. Heinlein making the character of Grandma Hazel's daughter-in-law a doctor was a little unusual at thetime it was written, but Heinlein's novels have many strong, very bright women in them.
The juveniles always included kids, young ones on up to late teens, as fully developed characters. Tunnel in the Sky had teens as its main characters. Have Space Suit, Will Travel and Podkayne of Mars have pre teens. Almost all of his alternate lifestyles books included them, too, either as complete characters (Dora in Time Enough for Love, Hazel in Moon Is a Harsh Mistress); less developed but definitely present characters such as the children of Dora and Lazarus in Time Enough, and Woody's brothers and sisters both in Time Enough and To Sail Beyond the Sunset. Even when children are mentioned, rather than present, they are a strong motivator for the behavior of the adults. Heinlein is very clear that the preservation of relationships and assets as well as the good upbringing and protection of children are the major purposes of all marriages. He is also shows children as People and that they have the capability and Right to make their own decisions, when they have been taught to do so properly, most notably in Door into Summer and Tunnel in the Sky. Lazarus (and Heinlein's own parents) believed in appropriate discipline balanced by plenty of physical affection.
Howard family marriages were mostly serial monogamous or (more likely according to To Sail Beyond the Sunset) open committed relationships with others being added secretly at first. (Maureen had to dye her hair and become a supposed mother-in-law so her husband could be the father of the child he gave his daughter-in-law.), then more openly as such things became more acceptable in outer society and as the Howards migrated off planet. They always included children by definition since the whole idea of those marriages was a breeding scheme for long life. Lazarus's one marriage to a non Howard (Dora) takes place on such a planet. The frontier society they founded was certainly not monogamous and did include plenty of children. Secundus and Tertius had Howards as the majority. By the time we get to Number of the Beast, we have a constantly growing group marriage on Tertiius which includes most of Heinlein's major characters and plenty of children with the commitment of all adults in the marriage being to the welfare of those children until they reach adulthood. Lazarus Long, Jubal Harshaw, Hazel (once more), Lazarus' cloned sisters, his mother Maureen and even such computers (pre and post transformation to humans) as Minerva, Mike and Athene are members of this family. The Cat Who Walked through Walls and To Sail Beyond the Sunset depict characters who travel frequently through time, may have formal and informal romantic liaisons in other times/ parallel time lines, but who generally return to the group marriage they are part of --frequently with the new partner in tow.
I Now Pronounce You: Wedding ceremonies abound in Heinlein's stories: Tunnel in the Sky has several monogamous type marriage ceremonies in its off planet impromptu colony. Those are fairly traditional. I Will Fear No Evil gives us one old man in a young woman's body marrying another still in his own body. They have a traditional ceremony as a lead in to one of Heinlein's few examples of an open relationship where the participant mostly pretend to monogamy. Door Into Summer gives us a traditional ceremony and what we have no reason to think is anything but a monogamous marriage. While the marrying characters start off as child and adult, they are definitely legal by the time they tie the knot. Moon Is a Harsh Mistress adds Wyoh to Mannie's Line marriage, Friday marries into her S group with great contractual formality, Lazarus marries Dora on horseback and gets her pregnant immediately afterward. Lazarus' Tertius colony family adds Maureen in a formal ceremony. All of these ceremonies, including Stranger's water sharing, are ways of making a commitment to another person or persons for the safe and responsible raising of children and the joy of the adults who raise those children. Only the S group, in Heinlein's novel Friday, is presented in a really negative light, though by the end of that book our main character is completely enmeshed in a very positive group marriage. Heinlein clearly approves of marriage in any form which assures safe and effective rearing of children, preservation of assets, and plenty of loving for all involved. He does not expect marriage to be eliminated in future society. To the degree that it is set aside, he believes that society to be a sick one. He expected marriage to evolve rather than disappear.
Think about: Did any of you structure a marriage ceremony and/or the marriage itself on Heinlein's writings?
Please feel free to send your "Think About's" questions on the poly lifestyle and articles you
have written on the subject - we'd love to share them in our newsletter.
LiveTheDreamPoly@gmail.com.
Meet Up Events
First Saturday every month - 7 PM Deborah's Poly Meetup in Burbank/ North Hollywood
Go to www.meetup.com/SoCal-Polyamory or call 310-717-5790 for more info
Shama, who gave the excellent presentation on Tantra for LTD's March 2011 meeting, is having poly meet ups
monthly. Go to www.pleasureparadigm.org for more info
2011 WORLD POLYAMORY CONFERENCE July 29-31, 2011
Harbin Hot Springs
www.worldpolyamoryassociation.org
Loving More Retreat September 9-11, 2011
Upstate New York
www.lovemore.com
Do you have poly news that you wish to share?
E-Mail us at livethedream.org or call us at (818) 886-0069, ex. 3
Tell your Poly curious friends to look us up at livethedream.org
DIRECTIONS TO THE PENFIELD HOUSE
From the 118 going east, get off at De Soto Avenue, head South on De Soto to Parthenia, head East on Parthenia, head South on Winnetka, head East on Chase one block and head North on Penfield to 8515.
From the 118 going west, get off at Tampa Avenue, head South on Tampa to Parthenia, head West on Parthenia, head South on Winnetka, head East on Chase (one block), head North on Penfield.
From the 101, get off at Winnetka Avenue, head North on Winnetka Avenue to Chase (next signal North of Roscoe). Head East on Chase Street and go one block turn left on Penfield Avenue.
We are the big white house on the left hand side of the street; first house on Penfield north of Chase Street. Number 8515
For Google instructions, go to:
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=8515+Penfield+Ave,+Winnetka,+CA+91306,+USA&sa=X&oi=map&ct=title
ALL VISITORS PLEASE PARK IN THE STREET, NOT IN THE DRIVE WAY. THANK YOU
LTD DUES ARE $25.00 PER YEAR FOR ONE PERSON, $40 FOR A COUPLE, $10 EACH FOR ADDITIONAL PERSON(S) IN THE SAME HOUSE. DOUBLE THAT FOR FREE ATTENDENCE AT ALL REGULAR DAY TIME 3RD SATURDAY MEETINGS. TO BECOME A MEMBER OR TO RENEW YOU YOUR MEMBERSHIP, PLEASE COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING FORM AND EITHER E-MAIL OR SNAIL MAIL IT TO THE ADDRESS LISTED BELOW. An E-Mail NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIPTION ONLY IS AVAILABLE FOR FREE. JUST BE SURE TO PROVIDE US WITH YOUR E-Mail ADDRESS. REGULAR MEETINGS ARE $5.00 WITH YOUR CURRENTLY PAID MEMBERSHIP CARD (FAMILY SYNERGY OR LIVE THE DREAM] WITHOUT MEMBERSHIP MEETINGS ARE $8.00.
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Couple/Family |
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Full LTD Membership Includes Newsletter & Membership Card |
$25 |
$40 ($10 FOR EACH EXTRA PERSON AT SAME ADDRESS) |
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Email Newsletter Only |
NO CHARGE |
NO CHARGE |
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Make checks payable to Success Center Total: $ _________ | |||
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Membership Information Help Support the Lifestyle you live! | |||
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Name: ____________________________________ Age: _______________ | |||
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City: _______________________________ State: _____ Zip: __________ | |||
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Phone: _______________________ E-Mail: ______________________ | |||
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Name(s) of Mate/Family to be included in this membership ifAPPLICABLE: ____________________________ | |||
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FAX OR Mail to: FAX#1-818-882-8512 - 8515 Penfield, Winnetka, CA 91306 | |||
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? I could lead a meeting or activity, proposal enclosed | |||
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? I am interested in ? Science Fiction ? Pagan ? Libertarian ?___________ Oriented Programs | |||
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? I am interested in Co-operative Living ? I have space for others ? I am willing to relocate | |||
LTD DUES ARE $25.00 PER YEAR FOR ONE PERSON, $40 FOR A COUPLE, $10 EACH FOR ADDITIONAL PERSON(S) IN THE SAME HOUSE. DOUBLE THAT FOR FREE ATTENDENCE AT ALL REGULAR DAY TIME 3RD SATURDAY MEETINGS. TO BECOME A MEMBER OR TO RENEW YOU YOUR MEMBERSHIP, PLEASE COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING FORM AND EITHER E-MAIL OR SNAIL MAIL IT TO THE ADDRESS LISTED BELOW. An E-Mail NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIPTION ONLY IS AVAILABLE FOR FREE. JUST BE SURE TO PROVIDE US WITH YOUR E-Mail ADDRESS. REGULAR MEETINGS ARE $5.00 WITH YOUR CURRENTLY PAID MEMBERSHIP CARD (FAMILY SYNERGY OR LIVE THE DREAM] WITHOUT MEMBERSHIP MEETINGS ARE $8.00.
Get Involved!
LTD NEEDS PEOPLE TO HELP RUN MEETINGS, DESIGN THE NEWSLETTER AND MORE!
TO VOLUNTEER, CALL (818) 886-0069 EXT. 3
