Happy Valentine's Day! Flowers, candy, dancing and passion--someone special in your arms. Except if there isn't someone special right now...or if your some special is with his or her primary partner tonight. Then it can be a real downer.
Single and no love partner at present? Don't let all the cards, gift items and dreamy looks you see around you bring you down. Let it instead motivate you to be looking for that certain person or couple who may already be looking for you. Your life mate is out there- -not just one but many possible "right" ones. There are books on how to look, audio/video tapes and seminars. You can start at the library or a book store. Browse. Find one with a step-by-step program, not just for finding someone wonderful, but perhaps also for accessing what changes you may need to make to be ready for that person. How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You: by Tracey Cabot.
For more in depth info on NLP, Unlimited Power by Tony Robbins is available on CD or book form. It's better to use recorded material or live training as the way you say things is at least as important as what you say. Hypnosis can assist you in actually integrating NLP into your subconscious mind, your child mind, helping you to use it with the kind of unconscious mastery demonstrated by such practitioners as Tony Robbins and Tad James. We offer that at Success Center – (800) GOAL NOW (462-5669).
What's NLP? Neuro Linguistic Programming is a way to deeply understand how another person thinks and communicates, what is important to them. It ranges from mirroring words and gestures to get a potential date to notice you at a party to saying the right things and being the right person for your chosen life mate to want to marry. It works.
I had a client for my matchmaking service who only wanted to meet ladies with long blond hair. I found a match for him who was everything else he wanted, but her hair was short and auburn. He reluctantly agreed to meet her. He called me after the first date to tell me she looked like a horse. Two weeks later, he called to say she didn't look that bad actually and to tell me she had other characteristics he loved. The wedding invitation came six weeks later. The gut feel that caused me to risk his original aggravation was right, but the lady had a lot to do with making that work. She made him feel good about himself; let him know how right for her he was. She learned what special things really pleased him in the way a woman dressed and acted. She did those things without changing the essence of who she was, which was right for him in the first place. Some of this was inside info from me-- the rest she picked up by watching him, listening to him and asking the right questions. She learned to speak to him using the kinds of words he best responded to--visual imagery in his case. This particular gal just seemed to have a knack for it. If you don't and you wonder why your relationships just don't seem to last or to make either of you as happy as you'd hoped they would, this technique can be learned. It's not a way to manipulate another person or to give up being yourself. It's a way to deeply communicate with a potential special someone, to fully understand that other person, decide if this is Mr. or Miss Right, and be happy together if it is.
Here are a few hints:
- Does your date (or this person you'd like to date) use words like "I see?" It looks good to me."
- When you ask a question, does he/she look up before answering? This person
is probably a visual. Make a date to see the sunset together.
- Words like "I hear you." "Just listen to me." and looking to the side before speaking tell you you're dealing with an audio. Make a date to listen to a concert together.
- "It's got to feel right." "Let's get in touch." and looking down before speaking tell you this kinesthetic might enjoy an ethnic place where soft comfortable cushions are provided to recline on.
This is obviously over simplified. There are many tapes and books available on the subject as well as personal instruction. Feel free to call me for more info.
If you do all this or even a good part of it, you'll be too busy solving the loneliness problem to wallow in it. Soon you'll have your arms around the delightful solution.
We couples, who are looking for a third or for another couple, do not have to deal with the loneliness problems of a single person in this situation. We've got each other to be romantic with. Even so, this may be a good time for courting that special person you are both interested in. Don't make the mistake of figuring this day is just for you and your mate. A possible third in your relationship is going to look ahead and see many such "special" couple times creating loneliness and feelings of being excluded in the future. If this person is truly important to you, include him or her in. If she's a lady, the gentleman should get flowers and special gifts for both (different ones) and take them to dinner together. Show her that old fashioned romance need not be lost in this new style relationship. If the possible third is a male, the male member of the couple should include him in planning and implementing a romantic evening for your lady love. He may not offer, feeling awkward about intruding. You'll most likely have to ask him to join you and even persuade him that he is not a third wheel. NLP can be useful for this sort of thing, too. It will be worth the trouble if your Dream is a triad or even a triad as a starting point for a larger group marriage. This is true even if the relationship is going to stay a non residential one. Being inclusive rather than exclusive will definitely make your single lovers feel cared for and cherished at a time which could be more difficult for them than for you.
