Unless otherwise noted, all events are at 8515 Penfield in Winnetka zip 91306.  (Directions page 5)  This is a group house – home of Terry, Paul, Marcus, Carl and Will.  For all events: RSVP / more info call the LTD Hotline (818) 886-0069, ex. 3.  Please visit us at www.livethedream.org. 

Live the Dream is an education and support group for those who, originally inspired by the writings of Robert Heinlein, Robert Rimmer and Marion Zimmer Bradley, are now ready to LIVE such alternative lifestyles as cooperative living, open relationships and group marriage.  Many of our concepts on multiply committed relationships come from Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land and Moon is a Harsh Mistress.  Live the Dream also sponsors a Nest of Church of All Worlds, the real life, over fifty year old spiritual movement inspired by Stranger in a Strange Land. 

Events: (page 2 & 3)

Conrad’s Poly Lifestyle in Medieval Poland
Saturday, January 19                11 am to 4 pm
                                         
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
STRATEGIES OF FRIENDSHIP  Which Can Lead to Romance
Saturday, February 16              11 am to 4 pm

DOES “Open Relationship” mean “Anything Goes”? 
Saturday, March 15th     11 am – 4 pm

LIVE THE DREAM PASSOVER SEDER
Saturday, April 19th                    7:00 pm,
Service starts after sundown approximately around 8:00 pm.  

EVENTS

LTD events take place at 8515 penfield in Winnetka unless otherwise noted.
for info on family synergy event see:  familysynergy.org

To see past events or articles on Live the Dream please visit:   www.livethedream.org. 

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Saturday, January 19                                11 am – 4 pm
Conrad’s Poly Lifestyle in Medieval Poland              
Conrad Starguard series by Leo Frankowski –discussion of  alternative marital and sexual relationships in an  alternate history  Poland .  Conrad is a 20th century America engineer who gets accidentally transported to Medieval Poland  where the women eagerly go to bed with belted knights in hopes of producing warrior  children.  Conrad trains these medieval Poles to be an effective military force to fight the Mongols using 20th century techniques. His soldiers (oops, somehow they all got to be knights) are faced with many beautiful peasant girls all wanting their bodies.  This could be very distracting when their attention should be on fighting.  These good Christian knights should be married!  The problem is, there are not enough of them to go around.  Conrad’s answer–they can have as many wives as rank will allow with “hand maidens” fitting in somehow.  The women being at choice in all this saves poor Conrad from feeling he has encouraged exploitive behavior.   OUR HERO has more kids than he can keep track of  by  his own two wives and the ladies of his court.  It’s a rousing good tale with plenty of tail.

1 pm  Pot Luck Lunch—bring something healthy and  delicious to share
Afternoon activity: Socializing and hot tubbing

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Saturday, February 16                              11 am – 4 pm
FRIENDSHIP STRATEGIES WHICH CAN LEAD TO ROMANCE                          
Some of those who come to me as a hypnotherapist (and as a matchmaker) tell me that they have no friends.   Sometimes this happens because a person moves to a different geographical location.  Often, the complaint comes from people who have lived in one area most of their lives.  Why do some people have all the relationships they can fit into a busy life (and more) while others are miserably trying to survive in an isolated state--water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink?  What can we do about this?

I learned what friendship meant through high school sensitivity training combined with reading Stranger in a Strange Land for the first time at age 15 and having kindred spirits with whom to practice the teachings of real and lasting commitment, deep sharing, and a love which could include many special others.     We’ll discuss some of the ways you can build a circle of lasting friends.  You can be the person who remembers birthdays as well as the usual special holidays and plan the parties in which they are celebrated by all.  These   parties  work best as the sort which  can turn at a moments notice or anyone's need into a sensitivity group of empathic listeners willing to share tears, joy and group hugs.  They can be held in your home, someone else’s or even at a local park .
The bottom line is to be someone who brings joy to others and is known to care about them.

1 pm  Pot Luck Lunch—bring something healthy,  delicious dish you would might make for someone you love
Afternoon activity: We’ll do some sensitivity group type intimacy building exercises for joy, sharing and example and then socializing and hot tubbing with romantic music playing (much of it poly romantic).

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Saturday, March 15                                    11 am to 4 pm    
Does “Open Relationship” mean “Anything Goes”?
Role play activities in the afternoon with scenarios suggested by participants. 
We’ll discuss what works and what doesn’t in a long term, committed open relationship or marriage.  What agreements will best serve you and your primary partner and what kind of a moral code do you as a single person living this life style want to use?

Many people in the society at large who find  the idea of open relationships distasteful or even disgusting feel this way because they believe that such relationships contain none of the  safeguards of monogamy and therefore no security of any kind.  They think a woman in such a relationship risks bearing children whose father will not acknowledge them, having her husband go off for lengthy vacations with other women and not even tell her, his wife make love to other men while he is ignored for weeks at a time, etc.

If open relationships had no moral code, all of this might be true. The kind of open relationship models I have educated people on since 1971 do have a moral code.  Whatever the details of the agreements in each relationship, they must start with the basic idea of “Do not do unto others that which you would not want done unto you.”  Do not create needless pain for another, let alone for your mate.  Heinlein’s definition of love (found in Stranger in a Strange Land and Time Enough for Love): That state in which the happiness of another is essential to your own.  This is all pretty general and applies as much in poly relationships as it does in monogamous ones.  Peculiar to our own life style is:  Put your primary partner first if you have one. Wear your wedding ring when dating or looking for potential secondary partners. This probably means looking within the poly community where a wedding ring is not a stop sign.   Be sure your primary partner feels loved and secure in the relationship.  Do your best to avoid letting your primary partner feel threatened by new relationship energy which may cause you to ride off into the sunset with a new partner.  Know the difference between the solid commitment of a primary relationship and the excitement of a new person in your life and in your bed.  Do not have relationships with anyone who does not know about and fully support your primary relationship as primary.  Many people in this life style feel it is best if your primary partner meets anyone you plan on dating and is comfortable with that person, though some couples do believe in separate dating.  I did that in my first marriage and did not find such a separation helpful to the marriage. 

If the person you are considering dating does not get along with your primary partner, it is probably not a good idea to date this person.   Perhaps you need to look at the risks involved to your marriage in such a relationship.

Hy Levy (founder of Family Synergy) once told me about a reporter who wanted to interview people trying to make a bad relationship better by opening it up to others—he told the reporter to interview those people fast because their relationships would likely come to a fast end.

Honesty is essential in any relationship, but especially in a poly relationship. A lie by omission or commission is still a lie.  Your primary partner has a right to be hurt and angry if he or she finds out on the grapevine that you are spending your birthday weekend with someone else.  Open communication is a necessity.  Plans which involve both members of a couple should not be made without both of their input.  Presenting your primary partner with a date set in cement with another person is not a good idea.  Whether your primary partner is to be included or excluded from the date, whether it is an evening, a weekend or longer or some special event such as a birthday or holiday, respect for your partner’s time and feelings is a necessity. An open discussion on the subject before it is firmly set is best. Unpleasant surprises are not appreciated in such a situation.  If you are the secondary partner, it is your responsibility, too, to make sure the primary partner is ok with plans you are making before you make them firmly.  If you all belong to a group such as Live the Dream or Family Synergy, not doing so could lead to an angry phone call  and a bad reputation in the community. If you are a cause of trouble between husbands and wives,  other people will not want to share their partners with you.  Becoming known as a homewrecker is an especially bad idea as well as immoral in monogamy or polyamory.  It will effect your reception in the poly world and the more general monogamous one in which all of us do move for business, social and family activities. Such bad behavior can affect how all poly people are seen in the wider world.

Do not figure anything goes in this life style.  While we may be pioneers in relationships, we are not without guide lines or history.  This life style is not so new as to be without tested ways of making it work.  Non monogamy has been practiced since biblical times and is still the norm in many countries today, as anyone who has attended one of Leanna Wolf’s presentations on polyamory around the world knows.

For more information,   read Loving More: Responsible Non Monogamy by Deborah Anapol , Group Marriage by Larry and Joan Constantine, the Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt,  Moon Is a Harsh Mistress by Robert Heinlein and Prop 31 by Robert Rimmer and Morning Glory and Oberon Zell’s (who coined the word Polyamory) Bouquet of Lovers article.  Some of this is fiction, some non fiction.  All of it contains guidelines on how to live this life style in a caring and compassionate way which best serves all involved.

If you do not think other people doing what you are doing would make the world a better place, consider carefully if this is something you want to do at all. If you would not proudly announce it at a meeting on the poly life style, don’t do it and do not accept it from your primary partner.  Agreeing to be in an open marriage or relationship does not mean being anyone’s door mat.   Do what helps you to be your highest image of who you are and encourage your partner to do what is in alignment with his or her best/highest image of the kind of person he or she wants to be. 

1 pm  Pot Luck Lunch—bring something healthy and  delicious to share. 
Afternoon activity:  Hot Tubbing – socializing. 

An it harm none, do as ye will.

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Saturday, April 12th, Event to be announced

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Saturday, April 19th                                       DOORS OPEN 7:00 PM
lIVE THE DREAM PASSOVER SEDER
Call Terry to RSVP before 4/17/08 at (818) 886-0069, ex. 3 to arrange what to bring for the Seder or to attend without a food contribution.
We need time to plan things and shop for supplies as this is a specialized event.
This is a celebration of Freedom!   This holiday commemorate the first time one People (the Jews) freed itself from bondage to another People (the Egyptians.)  Brian Gitt will lead the Seder this year.  There will be plenty of group participation.  You don’t have to read Hebrew to attend this or even be Jewish.  This is a fun event and you are guaranteed to have a good time.

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DIRECTIONS to the Penfield House
From the 118 going east, get off at De Soto Avenue, head South on De Soto to Parthenia, head East on Parthenia, head South on Winnetka, head East on Chase one block and head North on Penfield to 8515.

From the 118 going west, get off at Tampa Avenue, head South on Tampa to Parthenia, head West on Parthenia, head South on Winnetka,  head East on Chase (one block), head North on Penfield. 

From the 101, get off at Winnetka Avenue, head North on Winnetka Avenue to Chase (next signal North of Roscoe).  Head East on Chase Street and go one block turn left on Penfield Avenue. 

We are the big white house on the left hand side of the street., first house North of the corner of Chase Street. 

For google instructions, go to:  http://maps.google.com/maps?q=8515+Penfield+Ave,+Winnetka,+CA+91306,+USA&sa=X&oi=map&ct=title

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Do you have poly news that you wish to share?
E-Mail us at livethedream.org or Call us at (818) 886-0069, ex. 3
Tell your Poly curious friends to look us up at livethedream.org

LTD DUES ARE $25 PER YEAR.  TO BECOME A MEMBER OR TO RENEW YOU YOUR MEMBERSHIP, PLEASE COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING FORM AND EITHER E-MAIL OR SNAIL MAIL IT TO THE ADDRESS LISTED BELOW.  An E-Mail NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIPTION ONLY IS AVAILABLE FOR FREE.  JUST BE SURE TO PROVIDE US WITH YOUR E-Mail ADDRESS.  REGULAR MEETINGS ARE $5 WITH YOUR CURRENTLY PAID MEMBERSHIP CARD (FAMILY SYNERGY OR LIVE THE DREAM] WITHOUT MEMBERSHIP MEETINGS ARE $7.50.)